Oh Lily
by Bob The Other Zombie
Summary: After years of pining, Lily actually seems to be returning James's feelings. And with Valentine's Day coming up (their last at Hogwarts), it's the perfect chance for James to ask her out. But how? Each of the Marauders gives him their two cents, with...decidedly mixed results.


James stared up at the ceiling. "You know, I think Lily might actually fancy me this time."

Three simultaneous groans echoed from the other beds.

"What?" James sat up in bed, leaning on his elbow. "Come on, we've been working together as Heads, we're actually proper friends now, it's not ridiculous!"

"That's not the ridiculous part." muttered Remus. "The fact that we're having this conversation at four in the morning is the ridiculous part."

"Yeah, Prongs, go to sleep." A pillow landed on James's bed. "We can deal with your love problems in the morning."

"You're not getting this back, Padfoot." James said, shoving it underneath his pillow.

"Oh, you wanna bet?" Sirius said, and suddenly he was in James's bed, wrestling for the pillow.

Remus sighed. "Please don't."

After a moment, Sirius tugged the pillow out from under James and disappeared back into the darkness, pulling the curtains around his bed close. "Got it! Piss off!"

"Yeah, you better run, Pads!" James called. He heard Sirius shuffle back under his sheets, and the room fell quiet. James still couldn't sleep, though, excitement buzzing through his veins the way it had been all night.

Lily Evans probably fancied him. Lily Evans, _the_ Lily Evans probably fancied him. He'd suspected for a few weeks (ever since their newfound friendliness started to get decidedly flirty), but yesterday, they'd had a suspicious conversation about the Valentine's Day weekend coming up. Lily apparently wanted someone to ask her but wasn't sure if he'd gotten the hint yet, which sounded innocent, but her tone had been dripping with suggestion.

Of course, there were times before when James thought her tone was dripping with suggestion and had been wrong. This time, however, he was sure. Mostly.

"I believe you." Peter said from the next bed over.

Sirius and Remus both groaned again. "Go to sleep!" Sirius called.

"Thanks, Wormtail, you're the only one here who's not a total git." James said loudly. He lowered his voice. "You think I'm right this time?"

"I heard her and Marlene talking." Peter whispered. "She apparently fancies someone who smirks a lot and used to call her Evans. Marlene was doing a mocking imitation."

James jolted up in bed. "Wait, really? Did she mention any names?"

"James, please-" began Remus.

James lowered his voice. "Or last names? Or houses? Or anything at all?"

"No." whispered Peter. "But I'm pretty sure it was you."

James's heartbeat picked up. "She fancies me! I can't believe it! She fancies me! She definitely fancies me! What do I do?"

"What..." Peter said. "What do you mean?"

"Well, Lily Evans fancies me! Lily! Lily Evans!" James lay back down in bed, panic replacing his initial excitement. "What am I supposed to do now?"

"Ask her out?" suggested Sirius.

"Get some sleep, and then ask her out?" said Remus.

Peter shuffled, bed creaking. "Are you...asking me what to do?"

"Well, yeah, I mean, it's Lily Evans, I can't just ask her to Hogsmeade." James said. "I've got to do something big!"

Sirius groaned again, and Remus placed a pillow over his head.

"Well- you could- make some sort of romantic gesture?" Peter said.

"Like what?" James rolled over to face where Peter's bed was. "Peter, if you were a girl, how would you want a guy to ask you out?"

Peter was silent for a moment. "Maybe- food?"

"Food?"

"Yeah, I like food." Peter said. "Chocolates, or something. Something that tastes good."

"Well, at least we know Wormtail's hungry." muttered Sirius.

"Hmm...you know, that's a good idea." James said. "I'll try and get her chocolates."

He continued staring up at the ceiling, thinking. He couldn't just bring her chocolates and ask her to Hogsmeade, though, could he? It had to be something big, something bold, something that said James and Lily were really on this time. "But chocolates are too normal, any schmuck can do chocolates-"

"Shut up!" said Sirius.

"Please." echoed Remus.

"Fine." James turned onto his side, staring into the darkness. He had to come up with the perfect plan.

* * *

"I did it." James slid in next to Sirius at the breakfast table. "I talked to the House Elves."

Sirius blinked at him. "About?"

"Lily, of course!"

"Oh, you're gonna deliver chocolates to her." Remus said, filling up his plate. "You know, I think she might actually like that."

Peter nodded. "Yeah, she will!"

"Yeah, I know she will." James said. "Because she totally fancies me. That's why I haven't stopped there."

Remus and Sirius traded glances. "What do you mean, Prongs?" asked Sirius.

"I'm not just getting her chocolates." James said. "That's boring, anyone can get her chocolates. I'm having chocolates delivered to her by House Elves, every hour on the hour, all day." He sat back in his seat, grinning.

"Um..." Remus began.

"I think it's great!" said Peter. "Chocolates are good, she'll love it!"

"Yeah." Sirius shrugged. "It's a little dramatic, but you guys always are. Then you ask her out at the end of the day, and the whole thing is done!"

"Don't you guys think...she might get tired of the chocolates?" Remus said. "Or that it might embarrass her to have them delivered all day in public?"

There was silence for a moment. Sirius took a loud bite of his breakfast.

"Nah." James said. "Girls love chocolate."

Peter nodded. "Yeah, she'll love it."

"Yeah, lighten up, Moony." Sirius said, chewing. "It's gonna be great."

* * *

Of course, Remus was right. At first, Lily was delighted to receive the chocolates. She spent the rest of breakfast eating them with her friends and glancing around the room to see who might have sent them. James thought she might have looked over at him a little more than everyone else, but he wasn't sure.

When she got the next one in class, however, she was a little less delighted and a little more embarrassed. Professor McGonagall wasn't too happy, either- she sent the House Elf out quickly with a dark look at James. By lunchtime, Lily was groaning whenever a new House Elf appeared. She'd tried telling them not to stop, but they just kept coming.

James buried his face in his hands. "This is horrible. Why doesn't she like them? Who would've thought she wouldn't like chocolates?"

"I think she has too many chocolates, Prongs." Sirius said, gesturing over at her table. Indeed, Lily was eating a bit aggressively, ignoring the stack of boxes by her elbow.

"You were on my side this morning!" James said.

Sirius shrugged. "Didn't realize you meant boxes of chocolates! Thought you were just gonna get her, like, one at a time."

"One at a time?" James sputtered. "Who gets a girl chocolates one at a time?"

"Who gets a girl a dozen boxes a day?" Sirius countered. "How did the elves even get the boxes?"

"I have no idea!" James said. "I just told them lots of chocolates, and if they did, they could give us all the food for our Valentine's Day party! They got a little excited about that-"

"Oh, that sounds great." said Peter, mouth full. "They make the best tart."

"Focus, Wormtail!" James said. "What do I do now?"

"You could just tell her what you did." suggested Remus. "Stop the House Elves and admit why you did it, I'm sure she'll forgive you-"

"I can't do that!" James ran a hand through his hair. "Then she'll know that I did it! And if she sees me with a House Elf, she'll know, and then it'll be ruined-"

"You think she'll never find out?" Remus said.

James threw his hands up into the air. "I don't know! But she won't go to Hogsmeade with me if she does!"

"She might like it." Sirius said. "She might think it's a bit over-the-top, but the intentions are good."

James sighed, digging into his lunch. "Whatever. I'll just pretend it wasn't me."

* * *

By the end of the day, Lily was actively fleeing the house elves whenever they appeared, and she'd thrown several boxes in the trash. James did his best to act natural around her, but it was hard when Lily spent much of their conversations ranting about how thoughtless and immature the prank was, and what she was going to do to the pranker whenever she found out who it was. At that last one, James flinched.

"What?" Lily asked. "What, are you okay?."

James shook his head. "Moony kept us all up late last night, if you can believe it."

It finally came to a head that evening in the common room. James closed his eyes and sank low into his seat when he heard the now-familiar crack of house elf apparition by Lily's chair behind him.

"All right." she growled. "All right, that is enough!"

Her tone was loud enough that most of the room stopped and stared. James considered fleeing the room, but figured that might be a little suspicious.

"Who has been sending me all of these chocolates?" Lily said. "What- obnoxious, irritating creep, thought I needed to have my classes disturbed all day by too much bloody chocolate? Who sent these?"

No one responded. The House Elf next to Lily stared down at the ground. James looked back at the other Marauders, and Remus raised his eyebrows.

"Tell me," Lily said, "or I'll order the house elves to tell me, and-"

"It was me." James stood up, facing her. He rubbed the back of his neck. "I- I sent you the chocolates."

If the room had been silent and staring before, they were now so attentive James could almost feel the physical weight of their gazes.

Lily crossed her arms. "You did what?"

"I sent you the chocolates." James said. "But it was just-"

"You know, I thought you were beyond this." Lily said, slowly walking forward. "I thought, this year, you were finally mature enough not to pull these stupid pranks."

"Oh, no, Lily, it wasn't-"

"But now I see that you're the same prick you always were." Lily hissed. "Tell them not to send any more chocolates. Good night, Potter." She stormed past him, towards the dormitories.

James's shoulders slumped, and he slowly sat down with the other Marauders. For a moment, no one said anything.

"Well." James said. "That was romantic."

Sirius snickered, and Peter elbowed him to shut him up.

* * *

The next day, James pulled Remus behind the other two as they were walking to class. "All right, Moony. You're the expert. You're the one who figured out how Lily would react. How do I fix this?"

Remus looked down. "Oh, I don't know-"

"Come on." said James. "I've got to do something, she hasn't talked to me all day. We can't not be friends, we're the Heads-"

"Have you tried explaining?" Remus said. "Just tell her you were trying to ask her to Hogsmeade, and that you went a little too far. I think she'll think it's cute."

"No, but I can't just do that!" James said. "It's Lily Evans! I can't just-" He made a few hand gestures, trying to articulate his point.

"All right, all right." said Remus. "Fine. Have you considered writing her a letter?"

"What?" James asked.

Remus shrugged. "Yeah. It's more romantic than just talking to her, but it still involves telling her what's going on. You can make it eloquent, too, like add in a poem or a song or something. And maybe don't deliver letters to her every hour on the hour this time."

James grinned. "Right, of course. Although, your once an hour idea-"

"James." Remus said.

"Yes, yes, only one letter." said James. "Makes sense."

* * *

As everyone cleared out of the Prefect meeting that night, Lily tapped James on the shoulder. "James." she said. "We need to talk."

James smirked. "Sure."

Lily, however, looked less than happy. "What is this?" she said, waving a parchment in his face. "I got this from your owl a few hours ago."

"Um." James said, shifting his weight from foot to foot. He couldn't tell how she felt about it. "That- that is- what did you think of it?"

"It's song lyrics." Lily said.

James shrugged. "Yeah, I thought you might like it."

"Muggle song lyrics." Lily said.

"Yeah, you like Muggle music, don't you?"

"Barry Manilow Muggle song lyrics." Lily said.

James rubbed the back of his head. Moony had said song lyrics were romantic. "I- all right, I asked that Muggleborn first year for help. Abbott, or whatever his name is? He said Barry Manithing was pretty great."

Lily squinted at him. "Why?"

"Um..." It occurred to James now that sending a girl a parchment with song lyrics on it might not be the most romantic way to ask her to Hogsmeade. In fact, it was pretty low on the scale of romance, even if he'd put a lot of effort into the song selection.

Lily was still waiting for an answer. James straightened. "To- to apologize."

"What?"

"This is an apology." James said, gesturing at the parchment. "I- I sent you song lyrics I thought you would like. As an apology. For the chocolate."

"Oh." Lily raised an eyebrow. "You sent me romantic song lyrics as an apology."

"Yes."

Lily snorted. "Okay, I accept your apology."

"Great!" James grinned. "I mean, I know it was a terrible one, I just, since we're Heads and all, I didn't want to be fighting anymore-"

"No, it was surprisingly thoughtful." said Lily. "If a little weird." She turned to leave, and then stopped. "James."

"Yeah?"

"About the chocolates." Lily turned back around.

James's grin widened. "Yeah?"

Lily looked at him for a moment, and then turned away. "Never mind."

* * *

"It was terrible." James said. He and Sirius were blowing off homework for a a few hours, sitting in a hallway alcove and eating some of Lily's chocolate. Lily had dumped the rest of the boxes on his desk during Charms that day and told him to take care of them, and whatever boxes hadn't disappeared into Remus or Peter's bags, James and Sirius were splitting. "She forgave me, but it was still terrible."

Sirius shook his head. "You know what your problem is? You're trying too hard. It's making it weird."

James frowned, examining his next chocolate. "You might have a point there."

"Of course I do." said Sirius, nodding. "You gotta be more confident, try and be suave. Like you are with other girls."

"But it's so hard." James moaned, popping the chocolate in his mouth. He chewed for a moment, and then continued, "She's not other girls, she's Lily. This is a big deal."

"You're putting too much pressure on it." Sirius opened a new box, dumping the contents onto his lap.

James followed his example. "What does that even mean? Putting too much pressure on it...how can I not?"

"Just don't." Sirius said with a shrug. "Use some of your old Potter charm. That's how you used to get girls, isn't it?"

James snorted. "That's how she ended up telling me she'd rather date the Giant Squid."

"Yeah, but that was fifth year." said Sirius. "We're leaving Snivelly alone now, you two are getting along, you've shown her what a great guy you are, maybe she'll like it this time."

"Hmm..." James considered it for a moment, shoving another chocolate in his mouth. "You know, you could be onto something."

"Of course I am." said Sirius through a mouthful of chocolate. "Hand me another box, I'm running out."

* * *

The next night, James sat down next to Lily while she was doing homework. "Hey."

Lily raised her eyebrows, not looking up from her book. "Hey."

"So..." James moved a little closer, putting his arm behind her on the top of the couch. "What are you up to?"

"Homework?" Lily said, shifting away slightly. "I think that's pretty obvious."

James laughed loudly. "Yeah, yeah, it is. You're pretty funny, Lily."

"Thanks?" Lily said. James scooted closer, and she moved away again. "What are you doing?"

"What?"

"You're being weird." Lily closed her book. "You've been acting weird all week, but now you've reached a new level."

James shook his head. "I don't- I don't know what you're talking about."

"Oh, really." said Lily. "The chocolates, the letter, and now- whatever this is." She gestured towards him. "This is completely normal for you?"

"Isn't it?" James said.

Lily snorted. "Not since fifth year, maybe. Really, what's up with you?"

"Um..." James said. "Well..." This wasn't at all as romantic as he'd wanted it to be. Sirius's advice echoed in his mind. "Maybe I just, maybe I've just been remembering how beautiful you are, and it's making me crazy."

Lily stared at him, slowly turning red. "Excuse me?"

"You know, you're- you're so gorgeous, you put all the Veela to shame."

Lily stood, tucking her book under one elbow. "What is going on here?"

"What do you mean?" James asked.

"You know what I mean!" Lily said. "The- the stupid chat up lines, I haven't heard you use those since early sixth year! What are you doing?"

James blinked. "I was just-"

"You know, I was really hoping you'd grown up this year!" Lily said. "You seemed like you had, you've been a great Head Boy, but now, with the stupid pranks, and the weird apology, and the whatever you were just doing right then-"

James stood. "Hold a minute, let me-"

"And just when I was starting to..." Lily shook her head. "Well. It doesn't matter now. Kindly leave me alone. When you find the person I've been working with for the past few months, we can talk again, all right?"

James's mouth hung open. Lily snorted and turned away, stalking up the stairs.

* * *

That night, James lay awake staring at the ceiling again. How had he messed up so badly? And more importantly, how was he going to fix it?

He didn't think he could ask for advice again- clearly, he had to solve this one on his own. But what was he supposed to do? He wanted to make it big and romantic, but Lily was too upset with him right now to accept any sort of romantic gesture. But she still fancied him- or had fancied him, at one point. And he still wanted to take her to Hogsmeade, if she was willing. So how?

He'd tried charm, he'd tried eloquence, and he'd tried generosity. What was there left to try?

* * *

James caught Lily at the beginning of their next free period, talking to Marlene in the hallway. He tapped her shoulder, and she turned around, immediately frowning.

"Hey." she said, folding her arms. "What's going on?"

"I just-" James glanced over at Marlene, who was watching them as though they were the Quidditch World Cup. "Can we talk in private?"

"Yeah, sure." Lily said, following him a little ways away. "So?"

"So." James said. "I wanted to talk about what- what's been going on this week."

Lily smiled slightly. "You mean, you acting weird?"

"Yeah." James said. "Me acting weird." He closed his eyes. "I wanted to ask you to Hogsmeade on a date, and I wanted to do it in a big, romantic way, but it didn't end up working. At all. I'm half-certain you hate me now. So...that's what I've been doing."

"The chocolates weren't a prank." Lily said.

"Right."

"And the Barry Manilow lyrics?"

"Supposed to be romantic." James said. Lily snorted. "I know, I know..."

"And all the stupid chat up lines?"

James shrugged. "I got desperate, I asked Sirius for help."

Lily's arms were still folded, but she was smiling. "Well, all right."

"All right what?"

"All right." Lily said. "Let's go to Hogsmeade together. On a date."

James grinned. "Great, really great. Fantastic. Thank you. Really, I'm-"

"James?" Lily said.

James ran a hand through his hair. "Right, too much, sorry."

"A little." said Lily. She reached up and pecked him on the cheek. "You're cute, though. And the chocolates were delicious, when there weren't so many of them."

"Great." said James, touching the spot where she'd kissed him. "Great! I'll see you on Saturday!"

* * *

"So the chocolates were what worked." Peter said that night over dinner after James had told the story. The others stared at him. "What? She said they were delicious."

"I don't know." Sirius said. "James was pretty suave when he asked her to Hogsmeade, I think my advice might've worked best."

"But he was also being straightforward with her." said Remus. "Which is what I told him to do."

Sirius shook his head. "No, no, your plan was those song lyrics, which did not go over well at all-"

"I never told him to do that!" Remus said. "And may I remind everyone, that my plan was the only one which did not end with her telling him off?"

Sirius opened his mouth, and shrugged. "I suppose you have a point there."

"Yeah." said Peter, loading more dinner onto his plate. "But she really liked the chocolates, though."

James shook his head. "All of you are wrong. My plan worked best."

"And what was that?" Sirius asked.

James shrugged, gazing down the table towards Lily. "Just asking her. No big romantic gesture, no flowery stuff, just explaining and asking the question!"

There was a pause.

"But that's not true!" Peter burst out.

Sirius nodded. "Yeah, the romantic gesture was your idea!"

"And may I remind everyone that I told Prongs to just explain and ask her multiple times-"

Sirius scoffed. "Oh, c'mon, Moony, song lyrics?"

As they continued bickering, Lily looked up, meeting James's eyes. James waved, and Lily smiled and waved back.

James grinned down at his dinner. He couldn't wait for Hogsmeade this weekend.


End file.
